MMA Blog

Was Luke Cummo submitted by a latte? In one of the funniest blog posts we have read all year the folks over at Fightlinker reported a story on March 3rd that Fighter Luke Cummo, who we are a big fan of, was suspended three months for failing a random drug test administered by the Ohio Athletic Commission for …. get this ….. extremely elevated caffeine levels beyond anything the commission had ever seen before!!!

Yes you read right!! Caffeine!! According to the article Athletic Commission standards allow a fighter to have up to 800mg of caffeine in their system. Luke Cummo is said to have over 23,000mg in his system. How is this possible you ask? Well, Luke is a different sort of person with very interesting eating and health habits as can be verified by this article his friend Ken Pavia wrote about Luke’s lifestyle. Luke has been known to drink his own urine and according to the fightlinker article he had this to say about the suspension

“Before the fight I pumped three litres of coffee up my rectum as part of an enema to break up persistent gallstones. Never did I imagine that a procedure I perform on myself regularly would result in my suspension. While I am disappointed at the narrow mindedness of the OAC and it’s inability to recognize the benefits of drinking urine and performing coffee enemas, I accept their ruling.”

OAC commissioner Warren Petty apparently went on to say. “Luke Cummo’s readings were off the chart. At first we thought there must be a mistake with the test, but follow ups showed that our original findings were accurate. This guy must have been tripping balls in the Octagon.”

Okay, for those who didn’t catch on that this story on fightlinker was a joke prior to the “tripping balls” statement let me assure you it was just another sample of the funny (some times sick) sense of humor from the guys at fightlinker. But wait there is more ….

Apparently some folks didn’t catch the joke and the story was carried as actual news on other websites including Subfighter . Now here is the funniest part. This spoof story gained momentum and was even addressed by the Ohio Athletic Commission executive director Bernie Profato, according to this article on MMA Weekly , in saying that “Only the winners were tested and those test results will not be know for approximately 10 days to two weeks. I’ll be contacting the state’s Attorney General office (on Tuesday) to see what options we have in this type of matter because this is absolutely not true.”

Now you would think that the person most angry about this would be the fighter right? Not so, and this is one of the reasons we like Luke so much. his only response came on his forum where he wrote “LOL funny story. FYI I wasn’t tested before or after the fight “.

We agree!! One of the funniest stories this year. Keep it up fightlinker and thanks for making us laugh.

Filed under: Funny, Luke Cummo